Family in the Sun

The wonder of sadness is that it can become a great motivator and teacher as it morphs into something else. I hope in my case that my wrestling with depression blooms as wisdom and compassion.

We went to Canon Beach for a day this weekend. We've been spinning in circle of a familial storm. So we paused and left for the coast. As we discussed our vision for our coming year together I was struck with the power of gratitude. Recognizing what meets my needs helps me to make more rational and soulful decisions. In this year I contemplate: What do I want to accentuate and foster? Rather than "What do I want to diminish and excommunicate in my life?"
I understand that the struggles in our family system are not just going to fade away and magically transform. Family life is a challenging path to God. I at least want to feel connected with my own heart (Not all clenched up) and connected with my partner. When I am disconnected I see three roles that I participate in. Perhaps you see yourself somewhere here too? I call them the AAA of Inner Circularity:

Agitation: Keeping moving and busy, fixing things, fixing others in my mind.

Analyzing: to the point of scrutinizing aspects of myself and others that seem unnecessary or distasteful.

Assuming: I know the motivations and purposes of behavior that stings me. Assuming the world is fair. Assuming I am communicating fully.

Being still, praying and just witnessing the inner melee' are helpful. Taking a time out to touch and be caressed by the natural world is wonderful.

Today, I'm grateful for the pause of getting away without dissociating from my life and body. Today, I feel more hopeful because of collecting a humble basket of gratitude at the beach and with friends.

War does not stop war

Resistance to what is true does not bring healing

Today, I seek boundaries and more personal stability based on what I decide is healthy and loving for me in my family. I'm grateful for my loyal loving spouse. I'm grateful for the diverse circle of couples at People of the Heart that have supported us.

Today the sun is shining on our home. I know that moods lift here when there is light. Tomorrow it may storm But I have today to collect and store a little more happiness by choice.

Peace to you My Friends,
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