Monday, November 3, 2014

HeART Residency

"Let the soul be hungry. Its hunger is the source of your Love."
                                                                                                                  Philip Shepherd from New Self New World, p. 419

I first wrote to you seven years ago at the beginning of the 2007 National Write a Novel in a Month experience in the blog:   I remember putting my voice out there in the ethers, hoping it would arrive intact to your screen. How sweet and embarrassing it is to read those first lines of my coming out in this world. Since then I've learned a few things, like how important having a public face is to the creative life, even if in a modest way. Or the idea of treating one's creativity and spiritual practice with the respect and Humility they deserve.

This translated into showing up on the meditation cushion or the writing desk every day I could. This is Not to brag. Because I found that without my practice and showing up I would have been more incomplete in this world. I would have felt more senselessness around my problems instead of possibilities. I had to show up here at my desk or I'd continue to experience the little deaths that come from not touching my longing.

I remember saying that "If just one person accompanied me on this path, and I could be of comfort or admonition to that person, the whole effort would be worth it." Here we are, seven years later, still in love with spirit and creation. Thank you for being here.

Seven years later. It's another November. And I'm setting another intention in the creative life. I tell you about this intention for two reasons: One is that by stating publicly an intention the risk of Not following through becomes more treacherous than the risks when silent. The other reason is to accompany you or encourage you to hear your own longing.
  • Is there an idea or a place or a person that brings tears to your eyes when you remember them? 
  • Is there a longing that just does not seem to be satisfied in this world? 
For me it is of a place, on an island, where I felt safe and joyful. When I think of this place I
well up with longing. Is there such a thing of spirit for you?

I sit with this longing nearly every day, like I would with a friend who is sad and lonely and hopeful for the future. Recently I've had glimmerings from the Spirits when I asked how to soothe this open wound of missing a holy place and way of being. Here's what came to me in the journal as a reply to my query.:
Let the longing inform you that this...THIS... is real. Don't live like a ghost in the wind. You are here now. So Be Here, in your longing. Follow your tears home.
I was not so satisfied with this answer. So I asked for more concrete feedback about what to do with the longing:
Then paint it, write it. Vex the truth of ghosts with the real beat of your heart. 
Live this month of sadness as the artist that you are, the writer that you are, the friend that you are. Commit to Y/Our art and see the island made real in new and miraculous ways.
Call, Create and Correspond With your Longing.
OK, that was a specific answer for me. Here's another thing I've learned since 2007: When one receives a specific answer from reliable, compassionate, ascended aspects of this universe it definitely pays to follow through with humility and gratitude. Not out of a sense of guilt or destiny or even a promise of reward. Just listen and do what the loving part of your soul longs for. 

Here are my intentions for this November:
  • To live here on the Art Farm as an artist in residence
  • Show up for studio time 40 hours a week
  • Focus on Painting and Writing
  • Work on Completing long undone projects
  • Enjoin in camaraderie with fellow creative friends
  • Have a public showing of the art and writing at the end of the year
  • Mostly, to experience what it's like to Work as an artist. This is something that I've wanted to know my whole life.
Thank you for reading this. I offer this commitment more out of trembling than surety. I also offer this as an invitation to join me, somehow, in following your own answers from spirit. 
I think that all manner of sadness, grief, vexation are just different forms of homesickness.

What are you homesick for? 
How can your longing inform you in your everyday life? 
How does your soul want to create something beautiful or loving from that place that you can't quite reach in this life?


(c) Copyright, Words and Image, Richard Sievers, November 2014